Do We Design Our Lives ?

While running, a boy of about three years old is struck against a table and begins to mourn. His mother accepts and tries to console and to punish it by hitting the table and saying “stupid table, table dumb, dumb!, Why did you do that to my son !!!”. The child observes, calm down and stop mourn. This seems quite common to see some parents comfort their children in this way, ie, ensuring that witnessed how he was punished to blame for the suffering. These scenes are so common curiosity led me a long time. I could not fit them in my charts, I could not make sense at all, something was wrong. Obviously the table is an inanimate thing and listen to him talk was fun, especially if the punished and told him he was stupid, but that was understandable because he had a unique touch.

Finally I discovered that my discomfort with the situation was linked to the plane of causality: who or what caused the suffering of that child? Who or what made him hit?. Without doubt the table was the least responsible for the problem. My possible answers were: The child himself caused the accident and that her age was very skillful parents who did not care about the dangers of setting the table owner, for maintaining an unsafe condition for children’s friend who was pursuing him when he hit Oh, well …. perhaps there is little choice but one thing was clear: the message transmitted from mother to child was not associated with any of the alternatives listed.